some xanax would have been nice

since sunday, i'd say i've been the most anxious i've ever been, for a prolonged period of time anyway. this even surpassed the feeling that i got before i took the MCATs last summer, and believe me, that was definitely a nerve racking experience. this time of year, its standard procedure for exchange students at NUS to realize exactly whats going on with their lives, and every story is pretty much the same:

- we havent gone to too many classes (which i'm not guilty of at all, surprsingly. i've missed two classes, and that was before i added the class, so as far as i'm concerned im batting 1.000)
- we havent studied for classes outside the bare minimum to take exams or do assignments (guilty as charged)
- we've done WAY too much travelling, which is more or less responsible for the above problems (true that)

as a result, most of the exchange students you'll meet nowadays are significantly more stressed than they would like to be, and i can personally attest to this feeling. its more or less the same feeling as it is at home when you realize youre behind on things, but then theres all the added pressure of everything else thats going on in our lives, such as being far away from home, and not only that but in a place where we dont fit in, dont feel comfortable, and everything is done differently. expectations for discipline and self-control are at an all time high, not only from yourself, but from those around you, and all these things can easily combine to make one hell of a physically and emotionally dissheveled exchange student. those of you that have talked to me in the past week will know exactly how i feel, as i've probably told you about it at least once or twelve times. however, in the past few days, i thank those who have talked me through it and helped me realize the real situation, that things will be okay, things will get done, and before i know it, i'll be able to enjoy myself again, be it here or back at home. you all know who you are, and your efforts have not gone unnoticed, trust me. i'll be going to our family friend's house here in singapore on saturday evening to get a little taste of home and for a little comfort i suppose...i think that'll put me at east, i hope anyway.

things otherwise are going alright. the rest of the semester will be work-based, with a project for a class here and a research project for a professor at home being the two main goals. on the upside, classes here end april 18th, so any of the work for NUS will be done then, with only two exams to study for after that. perhaps i'll take the days before my first exam (april 18th to may 2) to travel somewhere, not sure where or with who and what have you, but i should look into that soon. vietnam is a possibility, perhaps cambodia or laos along with it. even if i dont, i dont think i'll regret it. i've been to malaysia, thailand and indonesia while i've been in singapore, and i'll be making a surprise pitstop in shanghai, china, on my way back to the US for five days, so i dont feel that i've come all this way and not traveled. we'll see, im sure it'll turn out okay. welp, back to studying. more or less counting the days till i get home :) cant wait to see you guys!